


Man vs. Cat

by rivlee



Series: Live Fast, Die Old [3]
Category: Spartacus Series (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Domestic, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-01
Updated: 2012-12-01
Packaged: 2017-11-20 00:49:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/579468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rivlee/pseuds/rivlee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Agron's not so sure about Nasir's latest surprise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Man vs. Cat

**Author's Note:**

  * For [brandedwithfire](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brandedwithfire/gifts).



> For a tumblr prompt from my beloved Sarah.

Life had been pretty damn good to Agron Frei the past two years. He’d met, started dating, and moved in with his favorite author of all time, Nasir Zaman. His shop was doing well. His brother, Duro, had finally ended that shitty bad-for-him-in-five-thousand-different-ways affair with Claudius Glaber. Saxa hadn’t been arrested for assault and battery for the past six months. Donar’s bakery had got off the ground successfully and Mira said there were even talks of producing a local baking show with their PBS station. 

He should’ve seen the shit snowball steamrolling down the highest hill of hell.

“What in the name of ever-loving God is that thing,” Agron said pointing to a small ball of fur wrapped up in one of his New England Patriots jerseys. 

“It’s a cat,” Nasir said. “You know, a feline. _Felis catus_. A male American Shorthair kitten if you want specifics.”

Agron almost missed the days when he worshipped each word that fell from Nasir’s lips. 

“What is it doing here?” he asked.

Nasir shrugged. “Duro found it in the park. It’s been too long since I’ve had one of my own. We’ve been talking about getting a pet. It seemed like fate.”

“I was thinking about a hamster,” Agron said. “Not a cat. Nasir, we can’t just take in a feral cat. It could have diseases. It’ll need to be fixed. It’s going to ruin the brand new carpet.”

Nasir counted off on his fingers. “He’s already been to the vet. We took him last week and he doesn’t even have worms which is a miracle. While there I got him fixed. He’s just old enough for it. And I hate that carpet anyway. I was planning on pouring five bottles of red wine into it until you finally agreed to rip it up. If he pisses all over it, so be it.”

“Why do you hate the carpet?”

“It’s lime green, Agron,” Nasir said. “I can’t have that near my office. Just thinking about it makes my skin crawl.”

Agron pinched his brow. “You couldn’t have said anything before I went through the trouble of installing it?”

Nasir looked up at him with his big, soft eyes and the annoyance left Agron in a second.

“I like when you work around the house,” Nasir said. “You were so _proud_ of finishing this on your own after Duro’s incident with the nail gun. I didn’t want to ruin it for you.” He held up the kitten. “You’ll love Kincaid, I’m sure of it.”

Nasir had already named it. This was over before it’d started.

“Kincaid?” Agron asked. He reached a finger out and the kitten tried to bite him. “I think Dracula would be more apt.”

Nasir smirked. “Haven’t you ever had a book you loved so much you named pets after your favorite characters?”

Agron decided now was _not_ the time to tell Nasir he’d name one of his beta fish after Alia, the main character in Nasir’s first book _A Thousand and One_. Besides, from the look on his face Nasir already knew. 

He cleared his throat. “Perhaps.” He wrapped his arms around Nasir, careful not to crush Kincaid between them. “Though, I somehow managed to lure the author of my favorite book into my bed, so I think it’s a much better deal.”

Nasir leaned up on his tip-toes to catch Agron’s lips in a quick kiss. “Our life is a cheesy modern romance novel that I may just have to write under a pseudonym one day. N. Z. Frei might work. Until then, I think I’ll work on the adventures of cat ownership.”

Agron’s heart was still racing from how casually Nasir just acted like incorporating Agron’s last name into his professional work was no big deal. He didn’t even realize Nasir was prattling on about quick book tours and how Lucretia made him sign-up for a whole round of local news interviews. 

He really should’ve paid attention.

*********************

A week later, Nasir was off to tour the college campuses of New England to speak about re-writing classic literature with a modern twist while Agron was left alone with Kincaid. Agron still didn’t care for the little shit and considering his favorite scratching posts were Agron’s legs, he felt the same. They both loved Nasir though, so Agron was determined to try.

He wanted to know when his life had turned to this. He was pretty sure he wasn’t such a pathetic jackass at one time. It was all Duro’s fault anyway. If he didn’t insist on bonding with Nasir through stray-pet rescue and adoption this never would’ve happened.

Not that he could be pissed at Duro right now. The fact that his brother wasn’t ending each night in a puddle of vodka, piss, and puke was a good sign. It was only the promise that Glaber’s wife, Ilithyia, would see him completely fucking destroyed that kept Agron from going into the city, tracking the bastard down, and repeatedly introducing his face to the cobblestones below. The man didn’t just cheat on his wife, and Duro, he was also seeing two other people on the side. Who the fuck did that?

“It’s fucking ridiculous,” he told Kincaid.

Kincaid chirruped in agreement. He pranced over to Agron’s plate and sniffed at his salad. The little bastard ran off with a slice of black olive before Agron could stop him.

“I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to eat that,” Agron said. 

Kincaid swatted at Agron’s hand when he tried to take it away. “Dude, come on, no self-respecting cat eats olives.”

Agron didn’t speak cat but he was pretty sure the look he was getting meant _I need you to go fuck off and die_. It was kind of cute. It was almost like Agron in cat form really.

Oh holy shit.

He scrambled for his cell phone and pulled up Nasir’s number.

“Did you seriously just adopt this cat because it’s me?” he asked.

“Good afternoon, love. Yes, I’m doing well. Thanks for asking. No, no, there weren’t any corpses under my mattress but there’s a colony of roaches in my bathroom. No, no, it’s fine, I don’t need you to drive up here and get me the hell out of the seventh level of Hell,” Nasir said.

Agron glared at the phone. He loved Nasir’s sarcasm except when he was on the receiving end. He’d already grabbed his wallet, keys, and the cat carrier by the time he replied. 

“I’ll be there in an hour. Just answer the question,” Agron said.

“Well, it’s not like we’re going to have kids, Agron,” Nasir said. “I’ve got to take what I can get.”

Agron was pretty full of shocked joy in that moment so he may or may not have dropped Kincaid and his cell into the cat carrier at the same time. He just, he really didn’t think it was possible to be _this_ in love with someone especially after the honeymoon period and the first fifteen major fights had passed. 

“Agron,” Nasir’s panicked voice carried from the phone.

“Shit,” Agron said. He grabbed his phone, stuffed Kincaid back down, and closed the carrier. “Sorry, I dropped the phone and the cat. I just, wow, hi. That was. I mean, you know, Saxa’s already volunteered herself as a surrogate because she wants a kid one day when she’s tired of cracking skulls and roller derby, but only if she can give it back to the full-time parents. But, you know, that’s totally whenever we’re ready and we really shouldn’t be having this discussion over the phone because I can’t touch you right now and I need to and please tell me you’re in New Hampshire and not Maine yet.”

“New Hampshire,” Nasir confirmed. He sounded as breathless as Agron felt. “I’ll see you soon?”

“Very,” Agron said. “I love you.”

“I love you more,” Nasir said. “Get here quick. Which means obey the speed limit, Agron, and don’t get stopped by a statie.”

“No promises. You know I’m on the state trooper’s radar.”

“Just get here,” Nasir said. “And bring decent food.” He hung up before Agron could say anything else.

He'd stop for sandwiches on the way out of the state. For now, it was time to grab Kincaid and get Nasir.

“You down with this?” he asked Kincaid.

Kincaid hissed at him before turning in a circle and yawning. He didn’t take it as a formal objection. Maybe he and the pissy little ball of fur could find some peaceful co-existence. For the sake of Nasir, of course.


End file.
